If you're in the military to "protect freedom," please see a doctor, because you can die of asphyxiation if your head is in your ass for too long

If you're in the military to "protect freedom," please see a doctor, because you can die of asphyxiation if your head is in your ass for too long

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Do you think this guy did a damn thing for "freedom?"

I remember when I was briefly in the army. We had all this rah rah hoo ha shit about how we were “protecting freedom.”

With sincere adoring apologies to the people I love who are in uniform, that’s bullshit.

If you’re in the military because you like the job security, then good. I approve. If you’re in the military because you want to blow shit up, I approve. If you’re in the military because you’re gay and you love showering with other men, then good. I approve. In fact, if you’re in the military for any reason except for the “I’m protecting freedom” bullshit, then I’m in your corner.

But if you’re in the military and you think it has a stinking ass hair to do with “freedom,” please grasp your shoulders with both hands and pull really hard, because your head is up your ass.

Proof?

When Air Force personnel on the service’s computer network try to view the Web sites of The Times, the British newspaper The Guardian, the German magazine Der Spiegel, the Spanish newspaper El País and the French newspaper Le Monde, as well as other sites that posted full confidential cables, the screen says “Access Denied: Internet usage is logged and monitored,” according to an Air Force official whose access was blocked and who shared the screen warning with The Times. Violators are warned that they face punishment if they try to view classified material from unauthorized Web sites. (source)

Military members can’t read the New York Times, among other major press outlets, because the Wikileaks cables are on there. (source) Even blind illiterate pygmy ubangis know all about the Wikileaks cables, but members of our military are not permitted to read the New York Times.

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