Were you refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask? Get a consultation now.
Were you refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask? Do you feel that this infringes on your constitutional rights? Email us to schedule a consultation. Please be advised that we do not give free consultations. Our consultations cost $1,000. During this consultation, we will give you up to one hour of advice on constitutional issues. While we do not give free legal advice, we can give you a preview of the consultation.
The consultation outline goes like this:
1. Introductions and explanations about our qualifications.
2. Addressing your specific concerns about your rights, masks, and private property.
3. Conclusion and pleasantries about what you learned, sharing of additional knowledge.
4. (optional) Mocking you for being an idiot who doesn’t want to listen to reason.
5. (optional) Arguing with you about whatever foolish source you think supports your position.
Want one of these super cool First Amendment inspired face masks? Get yours today at www.freedomofclothing.com. Your purchase supports an 11-year-old entrepreneur.
6. (optional) Mocking you more.
7. (optional) You get angry and explain to us that we do not know what we are talking about
8. (optional) We LOL at you.
9. (optional) You get even more angry and scream something about RICO and fringes on an American flag in a courtroom making it a maritime court.
10. (optional) We mock you some more and hang up.
Please email maskconsultation@randazza.com
Optional plan: Wear a mask if the goddamned business owner asks you to.
Patricia Biswanger
Posted at 05:30h, 11 JulyLove this, but I think some people are taking it seriously!
Old Polish Proverb
Posted at 10:13h, 11 JulyLove this.
Love you.
Zee
Posted at 14:24h, 11 JulyYou’re my hero. Thank you for your public service!
Ryan Cooper
Posted at 14:46h, 11 JulyRequesting a consult
Jessica Newman
Posted at 14:59h, 11 JulyHahaha. Marc Randazza I love you. You’re awesome.
Bob Dole
Posted at 15:15h, 11 JulyComedy gold.
Thank you.
Chris VanDijk
Posted at 15:28h, 11 JulyYou’re brilliant.
James Hyatt
Posted at 17:02h, 11 JulyLove it! Do you have an email list?
Morgan
Posted at 17:19h, 11 JulyThis is the best thing on the Internet right now.
James E Bullard
Posted at 20:08h, 11 JulyThank you. No need to support frivolous and ridiculous. There’s real problems in the world and these ain’t they.
Carol Riemer Coles
Posted at 21:23h, 11 JulyThrilled to see this. Loved Melissa Nicastro’s post too.
Gloucester roots run deep and true.
Mike Parkin
Posted at 01:47h, 12 JulyThis is brilliant!
Julie M Smith
Posted at 01:53h, 12 JulyI love this! Thank you for putting a smile on my face. You can’t see it because I’m wearing my mask, lol. Keep up the great work!
Sharon Heller
Posted at 05:31h, 12 JulyYou guys are my current HEROES! THANK YOU!
William Kepper
Posted at 15:53h, 12 JulyMock me, Amadeus!
Jeffrey Osborn
Posted at 19:05h, 12 JulyI love you people. Thank you.
Ruth E Lewis
Posted at 21:46h, 12 JulyRead it once and laughed out loud. Read it again. Same reaction. Just wear the d**n mask!!
Matt Coals
Posted at 13:42h, 13 JulySweet, I’ll take 10. What’s your bank acct and routing number so I can send payment?
Rex Edhlund
Posted at 02:01h, 15 JulyI am in! On my way to Karen now!
Gary Funk
Posted at 16:17h, 15 JulyI absolutely love you all for this. Despite the fact that the intended targets don’t have the critical thinking skills necessary to, y’know, understand. Thank you!
George Ballinger
Posted at 16:01h, 29 JulyFucking hilarious! Well done ✅ and excellent talking points
marc moran
Posted at 12:03h, 22 AugustAwesome post!
It’s refreshing to see lawyers tell the truth about their profession. Public perception of attorneys being advocates for their clients is one of the most damaging beliefs in America today.
Shakespeare was right.
Rhoda Dendron
Posted at 19:46h, 23 AugustThat’s some solid comedy right there.
You jackoff
Posted at 21:36h, 23 AugustWill I be required to wear a Mask at the consultation?
Derek Nieman
Posted at 03:53h, 24 AugustMe and a lot of my friends got a good laugh at this. Thanks for being on the right side of science and history! I look forward to getting my mask, and will wear it proudly.