Were you refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask? Get a consultation now.

Were you refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask? Get a consultation now.

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Were you refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask?  Do you feel that this infringes on your constitutional rights? Email us to schedule a consultation. Please be advised that we do not give free consultations. Our consultations cost $1,000. During this consultation, we will give you up to one hour of advice on constitutional issues. While we do not give free legal advice, we can give you a preview of the consultation.

The consultation outline goes like this:

1. Introductions and explanations about our qualifications.

2. Addressing your specific concerns about your rights, masks, and private property.

3. Conclusion and pleasantries about what you learned, sharing of additional knowledge.

4. (optional) Mocking you for being an idiot who doesn’t want to listen to reason.

5. (optional) Arguing with you about whatever foolish source you think supports your position.

Want one of these super cool First Amendment inspired face masks? Get yours today at www.freedomofclothing.com. Your purchase supports an 11-year-old entrepreneur.

6. (optional) Mocking you more.

7. (optional) You get angry and explain to us that we do not know what we are talking about

8. (optional) We LOL at you. 

9. (optional) You get even more angry and scream something about RICO and fringes on an American flag in a courtroom making it a maritime court.

10. (optional) We mock you some more and hang up.

Please email maskconsultation@randazza.com

Optional plan:  Wear a mask if the goddamned business owner asks you to.


 

25 Comments
  • Patricia Biswanger
    Posted at 05:30h, 11 July Reply

    Love this, but I think some people are taking it seriously!

  • Old Polish Proverb
    Posted at 10:13h, 11 July Reply

    Love this.
    Love you.

  • Zee
    Posted at 14:24h, 11 July Reply

    You’re my hero. Thank you for your public service!

  • Ryan Cooper
    Posted at 14:46h, 11 July Reply

    Requesting a consult

  • Jessica Newman
    Posted at 14:59h, 11 July Reply

    Hahaha. Marc Randazza I love you. You’re awesome.

  • Bob Dole
    Posted at 15:15h, 11 July Reply

    Comedy gold.
    Thank you.

  • Chris VanDijk
    Posted at 15:28h, 11 July Reply

    You’re brilliant.

  • James Hyatt
    Posted at 17:02h, 11 July Reply

    Love it! Do you have an email list?

  • Morgan
    Posted at 17:19h, 11 July Reply

    This is the best thing on the Internet right now.

  • James E Bullard
    Posted at 20:08h, 11 July Reply

    Thank you. No need to support frivolous and ridiculous. There’s real problems in the world and these ain’t they.

  • Carol Riemer Coles
    Posted at 21:23h, 11 July Reply

    Thrilled to see this. Loved Melissa Nicastro’s post too.

    Gloucester roots run deep and true.

  • Mike Parkin
    Posted at 01:47h, 12 July Reply

    This is brilliant!

  • Julie M Smith
    Posted at 01:53h, 12 July Reply

    I love this! Thank you for putting a smile on my face. You can’t see it because I’m wearing my mask, lol. Keep up the great work!

  • Sharon Heller
    Posted at 05:31h, 12 July Reply

    You guys are my current HEROES! THANK YOU!

  • William Kepper
    Posted at 15:53h, 12 July Reply

    Mock me, Amadeus!

  • Jeffrey Osborn
    Posted at 19:05h, 12 July Reply

    I love you people. Thank you.

  • Ruth E Lewis
    Posted at 21:46h, 12 July Reply

    Read it once and laughed out loud. Read it again. Same reaction. Just wear the d**n mask!!

  • Matt Coals
    Posted at 13:42h, 13 July Reply

    Sweet, I’ll take 10. What’s your bank acct and routing number so I can send payment?

  • Rex Edhlund
    Posted at 02:01h, 15 July Reply

    I am in! On my way to Karen now!

  • Gary Funk
    Posted at 16:17h, 15 July Reply

    I absolutely love you all for this. Despite the fact that the intended targets don’t have the critical thinking skills necessary to, y’know, understand. Thank you!

  • George Ballinger
    Posted at 16:01h, 29 July Reply

    Fucking hilarious! Well done ✅ and excellent talking points

  • marc moran
    Posted at 12:03h, 22 August Reply

    Awesome post!

    It’s refreshing to see lawyers tell the truth about their profession. Public perception of attorneys being advocates for their clients is one of the most damaging beliefs in America today.

    Shakespeare was right.

  • Rhoda Dendron
    Posted at 19:46h, 23 August Reply

    That’s some solid comedy right there.

  • You jackoff
    Posted at 21:36h, 23 August Reply

    Will I be required to wear a Mask at the consultation?

  • Derek Nieman
    Posted at 03:53h, 24 August Reply

    Me and a lot of my friends got a good laugh at this. Thanks for being on the right side of science and history! I look forward to getting my mask, and will wear it proudly.

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