Damn Dirty Apes! A Call to Arms!

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a few questions for you. I’m just asking… no, I’m not just asking, I’m RAISING THE ALARM!!!!!

More terrifying than SARS, Bird Flu, and H1N1 combined. More scarier than a SHOE BOMB wearing SOCIALIST! Its…. THE DAMN DIRTY APES!!!!!

Everyone laughed at Zippy the Chimp, and Clyde from the Any Which Way movies… but did anyone see how the apes were plotting their attack? Placing “Ape Cells” among us? Jesus fucking christ on a crutch! There are organized groups of apes in EVERY MAJOR CITY!!!!

And now THEY are on the move.

To make sure that NONE of us feel safe, they attacked in Stamford, Connecticut — one of the whitest, safest, richest places in America! They attacked this man, ripping off his face AND his testicle! The apes are planning to take over, not just through force, but by rendering us testicle-less, and then by raping our women! Look at them and their perverse ape ways!

And now, just like IRAN, they have WEAPONS!

Honestly, if the incompetent morons who run North Korea can build a nuclear weapon, the Chimpanzees and Orangutans can’t be far behind.

And meanwhile, you sheeple just laugh, coddle, and love these insidious creatures. Meanwhile, THEY are planning the next MONKEY ATTACK!!!

For as long as there are apes in America, the homeland security warning system should be at PERMANENT RED!!!!!

ALL YOUR APES ARE BELONG TO US!

I call for WAR on the APES NOW!!!!!

H/T to Connolly for raising my awareness of the problem