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Law School Relegation

by Christopher Harbin

European Soccer Leagues have a concept called relegation.  Teams that are in the bottom of the standings get punted down to the second-class league for the entire next season.  Similarly, top performers in the second-league get promoted to the top-flight league.  Imagine if the loathsome Yankees royally sucked one season and had to spend their next season in Triple-A (or should it be AAA?  Class-AAA?) facing off against the Durham Bulls and Toledo Mud Hens.

Law school already has a system of promotion by allowing top performing law students to transfer “up” after their first year.  But what we really need is relegation.  Perhaps punting the bottom 5% of each class down a tier might actually motivate students to come to class prepared and get the hell off Chatroulette (really!) while in class.  You might see a more dedicated effort from law students to do the work over the bulk of the semester rather than buy a supplement and a commercial outline during the reading period.  What if — *gasp* — fundamental skills classes counted in your relegation determination?

And because law students are so elitist, relegation would be a better motivator than kicking them out of law school entirely.  For most of them, getting kicked out of Columbia is at least more respectable than graduating from Hoftra.

At the very least, relegation would produce a bunch of lulz.  Most law students are already neurotics chasing As.  Relegation would spread this hysteria even further as the slack asses could never be quite sure they’d get saved by the curve.   Crazy mind games and page-ripping would no longer be the exclusive providence of the gunners.  Let a whole new era of insanity wash over law school!  Demand relegation today!

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