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PLOT UNCOVERED: Secret homosexual plan to give America the gay

Wide stance... I mean wide scale gay agenda, look out! Eugene is here to bust your ass. Well, not literally, because that sounds sorta gay. But, he's gonna do something not gay to your ghey ass and umm... just step inside the machine, sir.

Eugene Delgaudio, a Loudon County (Virginia) local politician conducted an extensive investigation into the new TSA patdowns, and his findings are nothing short of shocking and revolting.

We here at the Legal Satyricon been blogging up a storm about our suspicions that the TSA was run by incompetent fools or possibly by clever geniuses trying to make us get used to being servile sheep. It appears that we were WAY off. The new TSA rules are nothing short of a plot by the wide-scale homosexual agenda. (source)

Wide scale, I tell you. Wide scale.

In an email, Delgaudio wrote:

“That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.”

Holy Liberace spooning Elton John while watching Billie Jean King play tennis with Freddie Mercury under track lighting while the Pet Shop Boys blasts out of a volkswagen beetle driven by Ellen DeGeneres with Tinky Winky in the back seat crashing into a tastefully arranged Crate and Barrel window display!!!!!

I got news for you homosexual agenda pushers — YOU’RE SUSPECT!

The incredible evil and sliminess of these gay infiltrators places them beneath any terr’rists that might have attacked us. At least the terr’rists were up front about what they was doin’. The homophiles? They seethed their way into the darkest recessed of the Obama socialist fascist communist stalinist HITLER government. Then, they placed thousands of agents in the field — all of whom pretended to simply be half-retarded rejects from the drive thru at Carl’s Jr. And once they had their minions in place…. the national cock grabbing and secret homosexual practicioning began!

And now, America, we have all been gayed!

If you’ve been to an airport lately, y’all need to run… not walk … run to your doctor and see if you might have been infected with…teh ghey, because God hates you if you have that.

H/T: Boner Bible

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