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Randazza Oral Argument Drinking Game

by Jay DeVoy

Tomorrow, our fearless leader Marc Randazza has something to say to the Florida Supreme Court about a little topic known as free speech.  It’s an important case addressing the very real threat of jurisdictional chill on all internet users. If you post on the internet, this case is about you. The decision in this case has direct implications on where you may have to defend a lawsuit arising from your internet activities.

The fifty-cent skinny is this:  Plaintiff Internet Solutions, a Nevada Corporation, sued Washington resident Tabatha Marshall in Florida for defamation. Marshall’s alleged defamation stems from posts about Internet Solutions business practices.  The Middle District of Florida dismissed the case for lack of personal jurisdiction over Marshall.  Internet Solutions appealed to the Eleventh Circuit.  The Eleventh Circuit then a certified the question to the Florida Supreme Court on whether Marshall’s alleged activities were within the scope of Florida’s long-arm statute. For more comprehensive coverage,  check out the Citizen Media Law Project’s Page.

In honor of this momentous occasion, we’re breaking our own flimsy “no drinking before noon” rule.  For loyal Satyricon readers, you can play along at home in real time or later, by watching the rebroadcast.  Like any State of the Union or other public address drinking game, the rules are simple: Drink as much as we tell you, when we tell you to do it.

1 Drink




Pennoyer v. Neff

International Shoe


“Great,” when in reference to the state of Florida.


“Judge,” when addressing the justices, which is a no-no.

“Due process”






“[Audible sigh]”

“Minimum Contacts”

2 Drinks

“Slippery slope”






“Over 9,000”





“Sliding scale”



“Fair Play”

“Substantial Justice”

3 Drinks


“Where do we draw the line?”

“Ass hat”





“Unintended consequences”


Waterfall (don’t stop until the Florida Supreme Court does)

“Fucking asshole”


“America’s wang,” again in reference to the state of Florida.

“Goose Stepping”

“Don’t you know who I am?  I’m Marc Motherfucking Randazza!”

“Goddamn-dipshit-Rodriguez-gypsy-dildo-punks. I’ll get your ass. “

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