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Strange Middle Eastern cult demands removal of public utilities

The Teheran city government installed bicycle lanes so that the city could be more “green,” and to promote healthy lifestyles in the Islamic Republic’s capitol. However, once the lanes were installed, local Mullahs called for them to be removed. They were concerned that faithful Islamic men were being tempted to look at womens’ knees, which are usually exposed when they ride bicycles. The stone-age morality pigs won out, and the bike lanes were removed.

Wait… I got that whole thing wrong. It wasn’t in Teheran, it was in New York City. And it wasn’t Islamic stone age cult members, it was Hasids. But, in New York, you don’t criticize these fundamentalist nut-bags. You do as you’re bloody well told by them.

So when the Hasids went bananas over bike lanes being installed in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the mayor had the lanes washed away. But then, huzzah, “hipsters” came into the neighborhood and put them all back. (source)

Anyone who thinks that an imaginary friend wants you to dress like you are on your way to a lord of the rings convention is a bit screwy. Nevertheless, Hasids are part of our multicultural fabric, and they ought to have the freedom to follow the rules of their silly little cult. But, the other side of the deal is that the rest of us get to come into “their” neighborhoods, what with our newfangled inventions like bicycles.

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