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The Battle of Baltimore shows us why UDC is the "elite" school in DC

In the wake of the Michael Brown verdict and the Ferguson uprising, a number of “elite” law schools decided that their students could get a deferral on exams if they were “emotionally” unable to proceed. (source)

This reinforces the impression that the so-called elite law schools are simply places where students are pre-selected and then coddled. As a graduate of one of these schools (Georgetown), I’ll confirm that the quality of the education is clearly secondary to the “brand name.” I did a year as a visiting student at the University of Florida, which is a little lower ranked – and got way better education there.

Of course, I only got into Georgetown as a fluke. I actually got piss drunk with a member of the admissions committee one night in September of 1997, at the Irish Times. He asked me what I did before law school. I said “my last job was working on oil tankers and freighters.” He said “ohhh, I remember you! We thought it would be very interesting to see how the other students would react to someone with your background.” I held back from punching him in the face. But, at least I knew what the fuck I was doing there. Yep, I was an affirmative action admission – I guess they saved one seat for foul mouthed sailor working class shitbags.

And then I figured out that it was impossible to get less than a C. Even then, you really had to work at it — like by falling asleep in class, snoring, not studying for the exam, and getting two right out of 10 questions. That was C performance.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine who transferred in from a “Fourth Tier Toilet” of a law school told me about how his school had a “forced fail” curve. If, by some miracle, everyone in the class at that steaming pile of shit happened to be a genius, and you got 95% of your exam right, you could still get an F.

Meanwhile, the milk fed pussies at Georgetown (like me) surfed to a comfy graduation by barely showing up.

And apparently, nothing has changed. If you were just too upset to take your exams, you didn’t have to. Don’t misunderstand me, Ferguson and Michael Brown were really worth getting pissed off about. Hell, I was pretty fucking upset. But, what do you think a judge would have done if I filed a motion for a continuance, saying “sorry judge, I’m just too upset about Ferguson, can we change this hearing date?” I would hope that she would benchslap me in a manner worthy of making it on to Above the Law, and not in a good way.

So suck those T-14 teats you special little snowflakes, because the University of the District of Columbia just pwned your coddled asses.

In the wake of the Baltimore clashes, the University of the District of Columbia (which is consistently ranked near the bottom of the rankings) made a top tier decision. Its students are able to get a deferral if they get involved. (source)

Here is what the dean wrote to the students:

Dear Students,

We have been watching the news from Baltimore and know that it is having a profound effect on many in the Law School community. As John Lewis said earlier this week, community/police relations is the civil rights issue of this time. Across this Nation, for nearly a year, the concerns of communities of color about persistent and long standing police abuse, have been reflected in demonstrations and public debate. The energy and commitment of those involved in the movement is inspiring and we want the Law School to be part of it.

The situation in Baltimore is of particular concern. Not only is Baltimore just 30 miles up the road, but many members of our community have roots in the City. It is important that we not ignore what is happening to our neighbors. Several students have come to the Deans with a request that they be permitted to defer an exam so that they can provide legal observer and other assistance to those who have taken to the streets to exercise their First Amendment rights and to address these serious issues.

We would like to support this activism. To that end, if any student wishes to participate in legal support for the demonstrations, we will defer one exam until May 11. To do so, you need to connect with one of the legal assistance organizations, develop a plan for the assistance you intend to provide and get this information to Dean Steward before your exam. If you are having difficulty in identifying a group to work with, please let me know and we can assist you. In addition, because these issues affect everyone at the Law School, we would be pleased to support a student organized teach-in. A community event that brings us together around these issues and promotes mutual support is important during these challenging times.

The police accountability movement needs and will continue to need the best lawyers that we can train. It is our aspiration that you become the future of the legal support for the most important cases of the next generation. It is critical that, while we pay attention to what is going on today, that we not lose sight of the essential role you will play once you pass the bar. We need to invest in you to be prepared to play that role. That is our shared commitment.

So if you went to Harvard, you got an exam deferral because your little pink feels were hurt. Because you wanted to stay home and weep into your blankie.

Meanwhile, UDC steps up and sends its students out to protect the First Amendment, to help with criminal prosecutions, to be involved in police accountability issues.

UDC wins.

Meanwhile, the little snowflakes will have their resumes given great deference when applying for clerkships and summer associate positions. Maybe its time to re-think that. If you ask me, UDC is the “elite” school in DC, at least for the time being.


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