Close this search box.

McDonald's sued for enticing children to eat poison while their dumbass parents stand by and watch

By Randazza

The LA Times reports:

The Center for Science in the Public Interest has filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s Corp., claiming that the company’s meals with toys unfairly entice children into eating food that can do them harm. (source)

Here’s the thing. I agree.

I agree that McDonald’s is rat dung. I agree that no human should consume that crap, unless that human is as hung over as a whore on the sixth of May in Nogales. (In which case, Mickey D’s and a vicodin is just what the doctor ordered). Short of that, any person who has too many McDonald’s molecules in their body is simply a piece of refuse.

Has “The Center for Science in the Public Interest” considered the fact that any child young enough to be enticed by the toys in happy meals is too damn young to buy their own food? Doesn’t “The Center for Science in the Public Interest” believe in evolution? Their name sounds like they would, but their actions speak otherwise.

Human beings have no natural predators. Some parents, like mine, said “fuck no” when I whined and bitched for McDonalds. Other parents can’t resist the advertising. We do need to thin the herd. Perhaps if a kid is 300 lbs and has seven kinds of diabetes and ass cancer by the time he is 7 because his parents don’t know how to say “fuck no, eat your broccoli and shut up you whining little shit,” then that means that his family is an evolutionary dud — that is how nature works.

The lead plaintiff in the suit is Monica Parham, a mother of two from Sacramento who said the company “uses toys as bait to induce her kids to clamor to go to McDonald’s,” the organization said.(source

And my two year old clamors to hold my revolver, to ride on my motorcycle, to drink beer, to put her fingers in the power outlet, to run out into traffic, and to jump off the boat dock when she can’t swim yet.

You know what my job is as a parent? I say “no.”

I don’t file a lawsuit against Smith & Wesson for making my revolver shiny and pretty. I don’t file a lawsuit against Moto Guzzi for making my motorcycles so fucking awesome. I don’t sue Hoegaarden for making great beer. I don’t sue SDG&E for putting electricity in my house. I don’t sue the city for letting cars drive down my street. And I sure as shit don’t sue hydrogen and oxygen for combining to look like some thing fun to jump into.

Instead, I do what mammals have done for a motherfucking billion years — I protect my young by using my judgment. That’s how we wound up with opposable thumbs and brains that gave us the space program — by the intelligent members of our species protecting our young, while the dumbasses stood in the way as the lava flowed down the hill or the sabertooth tigers ate our kids.

If Monica Parham doesn’t understand how to be a parent, then perhaps the right remedy is to bring back Buck v. Bell and sterilize her moronic ass, and to let her kids eat all the junk food they want so that they remove themselves from the gene pool. Because if humans had natural predators, someone as stupid as Monica Parham would have been eaten by a pterodactyl a long time ago.

Skip to content