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Nassau County, FL Ordinance Update

The Fernandina Beach News Leader gives us some insight into an anti-porn ordinance that Nassau County, Fla. thinks it can pass. The ordinance would ban the sale of any pornographic material that depitcs “specifically described sexual conduct.” According to the ordinance, that means one of the following:

    (1) rape or sexual battery; non-consensual intercourse, sodomy, or oral sodomy – [rape, sexual battery, and non-consensual intercourse would already be illegal. However, banning any porn films that contained depictions of anal or oral sex?]

    (2) incest – [Frankly, I am a little surprised that a place like Nassau County would be up in arms about films depicting incest. A) They pretty much don’t exist, and B) if they do, I’d imagine they would be home movies in this god-forsaken place].

    (3) the involvement of an actual minor – [I’m all for this, but in case Nassau County hasn’t gotten the memo, this kind of content is already prohibited by federal law]

    (4) bestiality – [Prosecutable under the obscenity laws – do they really need a county ordinance?]

    (5) multiple penetration by multiple partners of body orifices [Unconstitutional, nuff said]

    (6) visible penetration during intercourse, sodomy, or oral sodomy – [ditto]

    (7) visible ejaculation, urination, menstruation, bowel movements, ejaculate or feces [They could probably get away with an obscenity prosecution involving some of this stuff, but to make money-shots illegal? Are they high?]

    (8) visible penetration of a bodily orifice with a digit, hand, foot, or inanimate object [Wow, can’t even show a woman masturbating with a dildo?]

    (9) the dead – [The rampant necrophilia porn market will sure take a beating, eh?]

    (10) material utterly without redeeming social value. [Fantastic! No reality TV or televangelist content can be distributed there!]

Nassau County believes that it is a theocracy. If they pass this ludicrous ordinance, I think that they may be turned into atheists once they see how badly they get pounded. If they think that Jesus is going to help them, they ought to turn their attention to what happened the last time that the Big J was in a court of law.

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