News & Media
Any readers on active duty? Operation Mesoporntamia
I had a good friend who was serving in Iraq. The only thing he wanted in care packages was high quality pornography. He is back now, and I have piles and piles of porn, generously donated by my clients, to give away. This porn is earmarked for active duty service members who are deployed overseas in a place where you can’t get porn. If you fit the bill, drop me a line and a care package will be sent your way. The only restrictions are: You must be active military You must be deployed overseas somewhere in the Middle East,
Well that figures
I was just chuckling at myself, for being such a moron that I bought into that HOPE crap. Just to see what was there, I navigated over to HOPE.com. I found a completely appropriate web page there, a pay per click page that was full of links to worthless crap about loan modifications, debt consolidation, foreclosures, and online schools.
Fourth Circuit: You don’t have to choose between girls and booze
By Randazza & DeVoy In this recently released opinion from the Fourth Circuit, Gentlemen’s Clubs have won an important victory in their ability to serve alcohol as well as T’n’A on premises. The decision in Miller (Defendant-Appellant) v. Legend Night Club (Plaintiff-Appellee), Case No. 09-1540, released today, holds that a Maryland Statute that restricts the activities allowed at an alcohol-serving establishment is unconstitutionally overbroad. Among the conduct prohibited by Maryland Code Article 2B, §§ 10-405(c) and (d) is allowing patrons to caress or fondle employees’ breasts and buttocks, permitting “any employee or person to wear or use any device or
Stuff you can't do
If you’re a cop, you can’t pretend to be an inmate’s lawyer so that you can gather confidential information from the inmate to use against him in his prosecution. (source) If you’re a lawyer and you omit portions of a quote from a court opinion, you can’t do it without using ellipses to show that you’ve omitted something. This is especially true when you take out words that hurt your case and leave in the ones that help it. (source) You can’t run on that “HOPE” and “CHANGE” platform and then do MORE OF THE SAME CRAP. Well, you can,
Civil Procedure Fun!
For those of you who are not lawyers, you can play too. A plaintiff files a defamation lawsuit. The plaintiff lives in California. The defendant lives in California too — in fact, just a few miles from the plaintiff. Where do you file the suit? A) California B) California, because you are not an imbecile C) California, because you are not an imbecile, and you have ethics D) Virginia If you answered D, you are “Internet defamation lawyer” Domingo J. Rivera!!!! (Or a reasonable facsimile). Okay, so what am I talking about? Public Citizen reports: Usha Rajagopal, a San Francisco
Nice article about Judge Roll
I did not know Judge Roll, (the judge who died in the attack on Gabrielle Giffords) but he was the judge who swore me in to the D. Ariz. The few minutes I spent in front of him were memorable, and actually hilarious. There is a nice article about him in this month’s Arizona Attorney.
Probable cause = black guy with a $50 bill
The Flori-duh Department of Transportation has apparently been “illegally detaining” motorists who pay with large bills. The video at this link shows that tollbooth operators recorded the personal information about the people who used $20, $50, or $100 bills along with what made them so suspicious in the first place. Y’know, like being a young black male. (source)
Intellectual Property in Farm Operations?
This just in from the “could Flori-duh get any dumber” department. SB 1246 by Sen. Jim Norman, R-Tampa, would make it a first-degree felony to photograph a farm without first obtaining written permission from the owner. A farm is defined as any land “cultivated for the purpose of agricultural production, the raising and breeding of domestic animals or the storage of a commodity.” (source) It seems that the motivation for the bill is because PETA engages in undercover filming operations to expose animal abuse on farms. Of course, instead of targeting that behavior, the bill just sweeps all farm photography
Smokers, cut your bitching. Nannies, you do the same.
If there is one group of people that I don’t want to hear whining, it is the cigarette smoker. Imagine any other habit being half as obnoxious, and yet tolerated. Otherwise clean people smell like they slept in a dumpster (sorry guys, you do). They expel carcinogenic chemicals that you couldn’t even bury in a toxic waste dump without a visit from the feds. Meanwhile, those of us who elect to avoid this pollution are accused of infringing upon smokers’ “freedom” when we demand that they engage in their dirty habit somewhere that it doesn’t affect us. I am not
Scumbags Welcome!
One of the clergy members that I have always admired was an old Italian priest I knew years ago. His congregation was limited to a maximum security prison — including death row. He explained to me that ministering to the condemned was the most rewarding assignment he had ever received. He then explained a story from christian mythology to me that he found at Mark 2:17, In that passage, Jesus is eating and drinking with some real sleazeballs, and the “good people” take issue with him for it. And Jesus, hearing it, said to them, Those who are well have
Shall we call it 'Nikki's Law'?
By J. DeVoy Illinois Representative Tom Holbrook introduced a bill in the Illinois legislature that would severely curtail the ability of third parties to take photos of accident scenes. (Source.) While the law would allow accident victims to take photos of their wrecked cars, Holbrook believes that citizen journalists often get in the way of emergency response personnel. In the article, he weaves an incredible hypothetical about a citizen-journalist using a cell phone over a fireman’s shoulders while he’s using the jaws of life to save the innocent passengers. After all, if you take photos of something that likely will
Northwestern University: anti-sex whining trumps academic freedom
Last week, a human sexuality class at Northwestern University was followed by a non-mandatory demonstration. The professor warned everyone that it would be “explicit and graphic.” 467 of the 567 students in the class left. 100 stayed behind “to watch a sexual act involving a woman, a man and an electric-powered device.” (source) Initially, Northwestern had a pair of academic balls. As the incident gained notoriety in the Chicago media, Northwestern University initially supported Prof. Bailey. “The university supports the efforts of its faculty to further the advancement of knowledge,” a Northwestern spokesman said earlier this week. “Northwestern University faculty
NO! NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There may be a prequel (or a sequel) to Blade Runner. (source) If anyone out there knows voodoo, please put a curse on anyone who touches this project. H/T: Craig
Geriatric French Farmer Lightsaber Battle
All this video needs is an “I am a motherfucker” t-shirt. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giAwd2l6F50]
Gaddafi's son says "oops, my bad"
Libyan government bombing raids on Brega were a “big misunderstanding” designed to scare off rebels, according to Saif al-Islam, son of Col Muammar Gaddafi. (source) Well, I don’t know about you, but I am certainly very glad that he cleared that up. We can all move on now.
Boat "owners" withdraw from Somali waters after a rash of boat-sharing incidents
Unbelievable. So get this… these crybaby rich people have decided that they won’t sail their boats in the Gulf of Aden anymore because of too much “boat sharing” going on there. (source) The problem is not the boat-sharers. Boat-sharing is the future of boating. These so-called “boat owners” miss the fundamental point that boats should be free. Boats are made of wood. Wood comes from trees. Trees are living things and thus should not be bought or sold. And, if boats aren’t free, well the ocean belongs to everyone. If you put your boat on the ocean, you should be
Magic Underwear Hoops Dismissal
Brigham Young University has dismissed Brandon Davies– integral member of their #3 nationally ranked men’s hoops team, avg. 11.1 pts and 6.2 rebounds per game. Davies committed a grievous offense to warrant such harsh action by BYU. Best player on the team or not, Davies was dismissed due to his failure to “live a chaste and virtuous life” as mandated by the schools honor code. This apparently unchaste sophomore was “caught” having sex with… wait for it… HIS GIRLFRIEND! BYU coach Dave Rose gave comment: “Everybody who comes to BYU, every student if they’re an athlete or not an athlete,
GOD HATES ALITO! Westboro Baptist Church Wins – First Amendment is Preserved
The Supreme Court handed down its decision in Snyder v. Phelps, otherwise known as the “God Hates Fags” case. To understand this case, you must unplug your emotional reaction to the speech that brought about the case in the first place. The fact is, nobody likes the Westboro Baptist Church. Or, more to the point, nobody worth a damn does. If you are one of the three people in America who does not know about Westboro, here it is: Westboro is a “church” made up of some lowlives from Kansas. These lowlives believe that there is a magic zombie who
Supreme Court makes corporations slightly less impervious to FOIA disclosures
By J. DeVoy In FCC v. AT&T Inc., No. 09-1279 – released today – the Supreme Court seems to have taken a position that will unite the politically liberal, who believe the right of privacy should be upheld for individuals, and the conservatives who doubt the propriety of any rights not enumerated in the Constitution or its amendments. This case arises from a dispute between the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and telecom giant AT&T, which was resolved with a consent decree in 2004. CompTel, a trade organization representing some of AT&T’s competitors, submitted a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request