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Who will look after the dog when God comes for us?

There are an estimated 20-40 million cult members whose beliefs have come into conflict with their love of their pets.

This cult is commonly known as “christianity.” Some cult members believe that their leader is a guy who lives in space (sort of like Xenu) and that on the day of “rapture,” he is going to come and pick them all up and take them to his house. Of course, the magic space man will only pick up the faithful, and since animals can’t be christians, they will get left behind.

What is a devout pet lover to do?

Capitalism to the rescue!

A New Hampshire retiree, Bart Centre, started a company called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. The company matches Atheists with Christian pet owners so that if the rapture actually happens, someone will be there to care for their animals.

Promoted on the Web as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission. “If you love your pets, I can’t understand how you could not consider this,” he says.

Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that “I’m trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income.” (source)

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets assures its customers that its representatives will not be raptured. Each representative must state in writing that “they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.” (source) The company pledges that no more than 24 hours will pass from rapture to animal rescue, and they say that they have considered the fact that travel may be difficult immediately following the unexpected disappearance of 20-40 million people. “ Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times.

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