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"Conservatives" — meet your reality. Bachmann signs pledge to wipe her ass with the Constitution

Michelle Bachmann, someone unqualified to clean my toilets, has jumped out ahead of the pack as the new conservative darling.

Anyone who thinks of themselves as a conservative should either change name tags or have their heads examined.

Bachmann is in the news today for signing a pledge that she will fight homosexuality and pornography. (source) You see, the damn liberals want to tell us how to run our lives. And, government that governs best governs least. Right?

So lets make sure that the government stays out of our lives and respects the Constitution by, ummm, errr… well, trying to influence who people fuck. Lawrence v. Texas be damned… and we, umm… well we love presidential candidates who sign pledges to fight against free expression.

You know, because the founders didn’t jerk off to internet porn, so it must be outside the protection of the First Amendment, right?

Honestly, if you read this blog and you don’t hate Michelle Bachmann, stop reading and don’t come back. Seriously. Fuck you.

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