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Floatopia! The Unintended Consequences of a Nanny State

“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.” – Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan

And the more you pass stupid laws for the purpose of screwing with drunks’ fun “for their own good,” and the more you pass stupid laws because the authorities are too lazy to simply enforce the laws we have on the books, the more you will force the drunks to adapt and be resourceful — and the more idiocy will ensue.

The Whale’s Vagina isn’t really a drunkard’s town. You rarely see overly inebriated toolbags on the street — unless that street happens to be in Pacific Beach. But, that’s what Pacific Beach is there for — every city needs a neighborhood where you go to drink, puke, piss in the street, and act like you’re between 19 and 29. If you go to Pacific Beach, you ought to be looking for that kind of a good time. If you move there, you know what you’re getting into.

A few years back, a few idiots who bought property in Pacific Beach started whining, and the city council decided that since a few teenage meatheads couldn’t hold their liquor, they would just ban all alcohol on the beaches of the entire city. That means no bringing a bottle of wine to the beach at sunset and no six pack next to your chair on a nice day.

The average drinker and the sunset wine-sippers complied. Booze ain’t that important to them.

But the hard-core drunks were not to be deterred. As drunks are more resourceful than sober people, they came up with a solution. They started “Floatopia.” Floatopia is a party in which you drink your booze on anything that floats, from rubber rafts to inflatable sex dolls to canoes. Everyone ties the floating devices together, a few feet from shore, and you have your work-around the stupid alcohol ban.

I haven’t had a drink in three months (I’m not quitting… just taking a health hiatus), but when I start drinking again, I can’t imagine that I would want to go to Floatopia. It looks like a few thousand of the dumbest fuckers you can find, all concentrated in the same place. In short, it doesn’t look like fun.

But I certainly wouldn’t vote to ban it — nor would I have voted to ban drinking on the beaches in the first place.

Councilman Tony Young got it right:

“I believe those who act like adults should get adult privileges,” he said. But now, he says, there is a domino affect taking place as a result of the booze ban. “When you start taking these things(Freedoms) away these are the types of things that are happening. You get Floatopia and who knows what’s going to be next,” he questioned. (source)

But … but … Tony… you’re talking about c…c…common sense! There goes your political career.

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