Close this search box.

Healthcare reform legislation to include government subsidies for voodoo, zombie repellent, and werewolf patrols

You can rest assured that neither Senator Hatch nor Senator Kerry will ever submit a claim like this.
Okay, not really… but this is just as preposterous.

The “Christian Science” church teaches that we should forget about all that silly medicine stuff. Asking our imaginary buddy, Jesus, to heal us is all the medicine we need. There was a time when Christian Science paraded its children off to the graveyard, rather than admit that dancing around a fire, chanting “ugga bugga” was not the most effective means of treating diabetes or a blocked intestine. (source).

Christian Scientists seem to have, at least when their children are involved, accepted that they maybe ought to give medicine a chance. But, now the witch doctors want strands of garlic, wooden stakes, and holy water to be covered by health insurance.

Leaders of the Church of Christ, Scientist, are pushing a proposal that would help patients pay someone like Lewis for prayer by having insurers reimburse the $20 to $40 cost.

The provision was stripped from the bill the House passed this month, and church leaders are trying to get it inserted into the Senate version. And the church has powerful allies there, including Sens. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.), who represents the state where the church is based, and Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah), who said the provision would “ensure that health-care reform law does not discriminate against any religion.” (source)

Orrin Hatch, who never found a superstition he didn’t like, and John Kerry, who still has yet to be treated for his “lack of a sack” syndrome, want to raise all of our healthcare costs by allowing witch doctors to submit claims for eye of newt. Of course, this is not without some existing legal support. The IRS already allows you to deduct “prayer treatments” as “medical expenses,” and military insurance pays for it as well.

Skip to content