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Swiss Authorities Arrest Dr. Who

By J. DeVoy

In a case where life imitates art, Eloi Cole – dressed as the Eleventh Doctor – claims to have traveled through time to stop the Large Hadron Collider from discovering the Higgs Boson.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. (source.)

I mean come on, really?


Cole attempted to disrupt the LHC’s operations by stopping the supply of Mountain Dew to the facility’s vending machines. (source.)  Spotted by CERN authorities when routing around in bins, allegedly seeking power supplies for his time travel device (source), Cole also claims to be responsible for a prior incident in which the LHC was shut down due to a baguette being lodged in its machinery.

Alas, time travel is a recurring theme at the LHC, though with differing levels of credibility:

Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so “abhorrent” that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery. (source.)

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