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This is how you stop bullying: Casey Heynes FTW!

Bullying. What a great buzzword. Everyone hates a bully. The “fight against bullying” plays into our “be scared of everything” national psyche. Schoolyard bullying. Cyber-bullying. And lets all run out and pass new laws… because that’s how the land of the free deals with its problems. The academic circle jerk mangina crowd loves the concept. It lets them whine into their cheerios, warm over their research gathered at the last international association of crybabies conference, and somehow get a few publications out of the deal.

Fuck that. Casey Heynes shows us how you deal with a bully.

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I got a lesson in bullying when I was a kid. I was afraid of breaking the rules, and the rules prohibited fighting. I didn’t like getting my ass kicked either, but I was less afraid of an ass kicking in school than an ass kicking at home. So, I didn’t break the rules and fight. I just got my ass kicked. One day, I went to my grandparents’ house after school, with a fresh black eye from an ass kicking I got from a much bigger kid who picked on me a lot.

My grandfather asked me “did you start it?”

My answer “no, the other kid did.”

My grandfather said “You go to that school tomorrow. As soon as you see that kid, you run up to him and punch him as hard as you can.”

I was really confused. “But Papa, I’ll get in trouble, AND he’ll beat me up again.”

Papa shouted “if you DON’T do it, you’ll be in trouble with me.”

That was the only time my grandfather ever said anything that scared me.

So the next day, I did what he said. And, my prediction came true. I got my ass kicked. When the teachers broke it up, everyone said “Marc started it.” So I got an ass kicking and I got sent to detention. That sucked.

I went to my grandparents’ house after detention. My grandfather asked me what happened. I told him, “I hit him, he beat me up, and then I got detention. Just like I told you would happen!”

My grandfather reached into his pocket, gave me $5, and told me “that’s a good boy.”

I was very confused at that point.

But, that kid never picked on me again. Years later, he and I became friends, and he confessed that after that day, he was terrified of me. I was baffled… “why, you kicked my ass two days in a row.” He said, “dude, exactly. I was twice your size, I kicked your ass, and the next time I saw you, you came charging at me like a berzerker. The next day, I figured you’d come at me with a bat or something. I figured that you were just waiting for your chance.”

That’s the thing: Bullying only works if the bully thinks that the victim won’t fight back. That is something my grandfather had to teach me. Casey Heynes learned it himself. Good on you, Casey.

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