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Alan Grayson, asshat — unfit to serve in Congress

Why did I make a donation to this political action committee? Read to find out.

I really used to like Alan Grayson.

It was nice to see that there was one democrat who had a pair of balls. Grayson seemed to stand up at times that other Democrats would cower and wimper like the typically spineless little bunnies that they are. Grayson seemed to be a man of convictions and courage — something I can’t really say the democratic party has had in a very long time. Say what you want about George W. Bush, Jesse Helms, and Orrin Hatch… at least they stood for something and stood up for it (even if that something was disgusting and objectionable).

It was nice to see a Democrat who stood for something, and who wasn’t a goddamned pussy who wouldn’t dare pick a fight.

Grayson learned, rather quickly, that when you actually have an opinion, and you don’t pull your punches, you make enemies. One of his enemies Angie Langley, a Central Florida resident who disapproves of Alan Grayson’s “policies.” From watching interviews with her, I suspect that she wouldn’t know policy from a peckerwood drunk on gin. Like many uneducated hee-haw watching bozos in America’s Wang, she has a pump at her house, attached to a tube that runs outside, up a telephone pole, and that connects to a junction box, that connects to a pipeline that runs from Sean Hannity’s penis to a hypodermic needle that deposits his urine smack in the center of her Terri Schiavo-esque empty head every morning. From that concoction of an empty void, protoplasm, and Fox News piss, she forms what she thinks are “political opinions.”

As a little tantrum, this moron with a head full of Hannity’s piss launched a website called My Congressman Is Nuts. The website parodies Grayson’s “Congressman With Guts” website, and purports to be on a mission to unseat Grayson.

Central Floridians formed My Congressman Is Nuts PAC as a response to the outrage and embarrassment within Central Florida over Alan Grayson’s liberal positions and childish approach in Washington, D.C. We could no longer sit by and accept his inappropriate behavior and leftist big government agenda. He does not represent the values of Central Florida.

To be successful, we need your help. Please join our effort by making a contribution today! Through paid advertising and grassroots activities, we will hold Alan Grayson accountable for his votes and actions. (source)

So how did the “Congressman with Guts” (as he calls himself) react?

Grayson called for the Attorney General to investigate and prosecute Ms. Langley. His letter calls upon Langley and her political action committee to be prosecuted for fraud under 18 U.S.C. 1001, to be fined “and Ms. Langley imprisoned for five years.

*cha ching*

That’s the sound of me making a donation to Ms. Langley’s cause. It wasn’t much, but I did donate before writing this piece.

Grayson claims that Langley falsely reported to the Federal Election Commission that her PAC supports or opposes more than one candidate. Grayson’s factual assertion seems to be completely meritorious. It seems clear that Langley’s website is solely devoted to getting rid of Grayson. Grayson also claims that Langley falsely represents that she is one of Grayson’s constituents. She doesn’t live in his district. That seems to be a meritorious claim too. Grayson claims that Langley could not have simply made an innocent mistake about which congressional district she lives in — as she is the head of the Lake County Republican Party. Meh, I think that Grayson presumes way too much here. If you can run for Vice President and you can’t name a single newspaper, you can be the head of the Republican Party in a district where the average IQ is about at the level of an alligator with downs syndrome that got hit by a pickup truck after drinking too much moonshine.

The thing is, I am sure that Grayson’s allegations are true. I am sure that Langley isn’t just some innocent member of the public who is fed up with Grayson. I’m sure that the Republican Party put her up to this stunt.

Nevertheless, are these sins that should be punished by FIVE YEARS in prison? I am sure that even Eric Holder wouldn’t take Grayson’s request seriously. Nevertheless, I can think of few acts that would disqualify someone more from holding public office in the United States of America than trying to get a citizen thrown in jail for expressing her political beliefs — even if she is being a bit dishonest about them. Christ, lets face it, if we were going to live by that standard, we would have to completely revamp our system of government, because the only competent politicians left outside the prison gates would be Ron Paul and Russ Feingold.

For my overwhelmingly liberal readers — look at it this way. If George W. Bush pulled this stunt with Michael Moore, you’d be out in the streets…. well, okay, liberals don’t have the balls to be out in the streets doing anything except watching one of those Peruvian flute bands and cooing about multiculturalism. But, they’d certainly be whining about it at the top of their frequency range over a nice glass of shiraz.

I truly admired Alan Grayson. I think that his policies are good for America. I think that his style is exactly what the liberals need. But, anyone who behaves with such dishonor and such disdain for First Amendment principles needs to be tossed out on his ass – no matter who it is that he’s going after. I can’t say that I will support his Republican challenger in 2010, but you can be damn sure that I’ll be donating money to his democratic primary challenger.

His letter to the Attorney General is here.

UPDATE: A reader posted this to the comments section. It is worthy of inclusion in the main article.

Having both prosecuted and defended 18 USC 1001 cases, I’m extremely skeptical of the merits of the proposed criminal charge.

From Grayson’s letter, you’d think that the FEC filing specifically claimed that Langley was a constituent. I looked at the FEC filing (you can get it by following the link to the FEC from the site), and it doesn’t make that specific claim.

Perhaps Grayson means to suggest that a person registering the site “” inherently involves an implied factual claim that the registrant is a constituent. I find that proposition dubious. The title is obviously hyperbole and satire; it doesn’t necessarily involve a literal claim of contituency any more than it involves a literal claim that the congressman is (a) a handfull of nuts, or (b) insane. Weak sauce.

As to the assertion that Langley lied about the entity being for the purpose of addressing more than one candidate, I’d want to see the underlying regulations, or cases construing them. I note that on the web site you can view articles that attack politicians other than Grayson, even if Grayson is clearly the focus. I’m not convinced it’s a material false statement.

At any rate, the spectacle of an elected official demanding criminal prosecution of such a petty criticism site is embarrassing. Grayson ought to be ashamed of himself — assuming that he is the very rare politician with the capacity for shame.

H/T: Zach McCormick

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