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Greatest Excuse Ever!

“Family Values” politician Bob Allen walks into a public bathroom and walks into a stall with a stranger. Allen then offers to give the other guy a blow job, if the other guy will accept $20 for the favor. (police report) The Orlando Weekly has a really funny Happytown article about it here.

I kind of thought that prostitution worked the other way around, but maybe I am a little less worldly than I might seem.

Whoopsie! The other guy happens to be a cop, and Family Values Bob Allen finds himself in the back of a squad car.

When Allen was being placed in a marked patrol car, he asked whether “it would help” if he was a state legislator, according to a police report. The officer replied, “No.” (source)

Now Allen has an explanation! He is afraid of black men, so he figured he had to … wait for it…. both give a stranger a blow job AND pay that stranger $20 for the privilege or something bad might happen to him.

“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away. (source)

Oh man… you just can’t make this kind of stuff up, can you?

I don’t really care who someone has sex with. I don’t even mind if two consenting adults want to exchange sexual favors for $20. This used to be a free country, and if you want to make bad choices then you should be free to make them. (For the record, anonymous sex in a public bathroom is on the Legal Satyricon’s list of bad choices). Therefore, if this had been some poor schlub, I would have a bit of compassion for the guy. But, just like Mark Foley, Jesse Jackson, and the dipshit-in-chief, they preach and cajole one set of values for us, and live by another set for themselves. A commenter on Topix had this to say:

Throw that bum in the hoosegow. I really think our laws against prostitution are pretty stupid and these stings are unfair, border on entrapment, and only serve to ruin perfectly good lives and families for no societal gain whatsoever. But when they catch someone like this guy who so hypocritically spouts all this “family values” bilge but only intends for “other people” to adhere to it, throw the book at him and let him stew in his own juices. (source, comment by “Woody Smith” of Orlando, FL.

Well said, Woody. Heh heh. Woody.

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