News & Media
No Communion For Obama Supporters
MSNBC reports: COLUMBIA, S.C. – A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic president-elect supports abortion, and supporting him “constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil.” Funny. But when Cardinal Bernard Law (former Cardinal of the Archdiocese of Boston) learned that his
Okay, I'm Convinced
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cheT8e8sz-8]
Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong
By Janelle Randazza, Special to the Legal Satyricon (Update, Janelle informs me that she did not author this, but merely adapted it from a previously-written list. Still, funny) 01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
Florida Appeals Court Declares: Camouflage Still In This Fall
By Sam Lea, Military Speech Correspondent Florida Statute Section 250.43 prohibits citizens from wearing military uniforms or insignia unless they are actually in the military. (When I first read this, my mind went straight to characters like Lieutenant Dan and Gary Busey in Tommy Boy). In a recent challenge to the Florida statute, a man was arrested at the Orlando
Petition to Invalidate Proposition 8
A coalition of gay rights groups have filed a petition to overturn California’s Proposition 8. The gist of the argument is that Proposition 8 revises the California Constitution rather than amends it. Petition here. Update: The City of San Francisco has filed its own petition.
President Elect, Barack Hussein Obama, You Have My Support… For the Moment
by Jason Fischer I stayed up late to hear our newly elected president, Barack Obama, address the crowd that had gathered in Chicago’s Grant Park. I had mixed feelings about the landslide victory that I had watched unfold on Fox News for the several hours preceding his speech. On the one hand, I was frustrated to see my government slide
Thank you, America!
by Christopher Harbin My family has never been very political. As the typical dysfunctional white suburban family, we’ve been trained from birth to internalize divisive feelings so that the status quo can always be maintained. To this day, I don’t know my parents’ political views. Politics were simply never talked about. This all changed when a member of my extended
Proud
I’m going to take a day or two off from blogging. I want to sit back, take care of my wife, get ready for my baby’s arrival on Friday, and just be proud.
Flori-duh: We vote for change but fail to do so
On behalf of myself and my fellow Satyriconistas: congratulations to PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obama’s capacity to unite and inspire was proven today when millions of Americans chose hope and idealism over fear and negativism. May he lead our nation with the same intelligence, charisma, fortitude, and integrity he has shown during his campaign. As my best friend – a
YES WE DID!!!!
I am pleased to report that in the precinct I observed, precinct #21 in Seminole County, Fla., the election was CLEAN. There were some issues with the rolls, but the workers in that precinct were ethical, devoted to a clean election, and fair. And now… our long national nightmare is over. President Obama. Fuck yeah. FUCK YEAH!
We Shall See
The Precinct I watched today went 409 for Obama, 77 for McPalin, 1 for Nader, 1 Write-In, and 1 undervote.
Y'all Come Back Next Time – Here I Come
My wife is 9 months pregnant, and she was supposed to have a caesarian delivery yesterday. I am deathly ill with the flu. I haven’t held down a meal in 6 days. We delayed the caesarian until Friday, and I’m about to leave the house to work for at least 16 hours, flu or no flu. Why? I wrote Y’all
Grosse Pointe Blankety Blank Blank Blank
If you aren’t familiar with South Park, you won’t get the song below. If you haven’t seen this, you won’t know who Shirley Nagel is. Nagel is a resident of Grosse Pointe who asked little kids who came to her house trick-or-treating whether they were from an Obama family or a McCain family. If mommy or daddy was voting for
When Fifth Graders Go Bad
Jordan Hood’s fifth grade art teacher told him to draw a scary Halloween mask for his art class. He complied. However, when Jordan’s homeroom teacher, Melissa Pevey, saw the drawing, she found it disturbing. Pevey was concerned enough to contact assistant principal Valerie Johnson and Campus Police. But it wasn’t blood and gore that bothered Pevey. She believed the blood
Is Sarah Palin really Shoichi Yokoi?
Shoichi Yokoi was a Japanese soldier who was sent to Guam during World War II. When U.S. forces recaptured the island in 1944, Yokoi went into hiding where he remained until 1972. Even when he was discovered, it took some work to convince him that World War II was over. Alex Koppelman at Salon opines that Sarah Palin may be
Toilet-Cursing Woman gets $19K Settlement
When Dawn Herb’s toilet overflowed, she swore at it. Go figure. A neighbor, who happened to be a police officer, overheard her. Not content to simply yell “shut up,” he charged her with disorderly conduct. The charge was dismissed, and Ms. Herb is now going to receive a $19,000 settlement from the City of Scranton so that it wouldn’t have
Quote of the Week – Vince Mancini
I think I speak for everyone when I say, “May your children turn gay and marry negroes in France, you cocksucker.” -Vince Mancini Mancini was talking to Larry Miller, owner of the Utah Jazz and the Megaplex Theater chain, who banned Zack and Miri Make a Porno from his theaters because the title has the word “Porno” in it, yet
The (sort of) Week-End Blog Loot!
Pre-Election Week Edition… W00T! Editorial and Comment by Zac “I’m-ill-yo” Papantoniou 1. Seriously, making Gov. Palin look stupid is getting a bit redundant… but she makes it so easy pull off, that even French-Canadian radio DJ’s are taking their turn playing “lets-tease-the-idiot”! Listen in as Gov. “Jane Six-Pack” Palin shows off her foreign policy skillz, while attempting to chit-chat on
