News & Media
PETA must be trolling us
Now I am convinced that PETA must be the most well-organized practical joke in the world. They are suing Sea World for violating the 13th Amendment. The theory? Keeping killer whales in captivity is slavery. (source) If this files, I’m bringing a THIRD Amendment complaint against the U.S. Government. After all, they quarter troops in the homes of squirrels, bears,
Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
By Jay Wolman As the newest Satyriconista, with a practice of civil litigation and employment law in Boston, I thought I’d begin my first post with something high-brow. Everything sounds better in Latin. This was St. Augustine’s way of saying “Hate the player, not the game”. Fast forward 1500 years and the message remains relevant. David Madden, the now former
Marco Rubio, the Birthers, Batista, Castro, and a little Cuban History
At least we now know that the “birthers” are non-partisan. They are descending upon Marco Rubio. (source) Of course, the birthers are as stupid as ever. Rubio was clearly born in Flori-duh, and we still have “birthright citizenship.” End of that story. On the other hand, it seems that Marco Rubio has been a little less than forthcoming about when
Coming At You From The OMG That's Awesome Department
Check out this camera!
The Aroma of Tacoma Smells Like a Can of STFU.
Back in 2009, Washington State Governor Christine Gregiore signed SB 5688, the so-called “Everything But Marriage” act. Source. Shortly thereafter, a group of concerned citizens calling themselves Protect Marriage Washington got enough signatures to place a referendum challenging the bill. Protecting marriage from what, exactly, remains a mystery but Imma call them “The Protectors” anyway. No word on if they
Weddings and pole dancing don't really mix
Well, there’s nothing wrong per se with pole dancing at a wedding. But, this is definitely an example of doing it wrong. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SkKaMk7s1rA] H/T: Dan
Bigfoot Spotted Fighting for Free Speech at the New Hampshire Supreme Court
Back in March, I wrote a snippet about a guy who brought suit against the State of New Hampshire for its burdensome permit requirements for filming in Monadnock State Park. See Plaintiff’s motion for summary judgment. The facts of the case are nothing short of awesome. September 6, 2009 dawned sunny and temperate in New Hampshire. Plaintiff, Jonathan Doyle, a
Was the Declaration of Independence Illegal?
The BBC reports on a debate held in Philadelphia between American lawyers and British barristers. (source) The American side of the debate: The Declaration is unquestionably “legal”. Under basic principles of “Natural Law”, government can only be by the consent of the people and there comes a point when allegiance is no longer required in face of tyranny. The legality
Christian Louboutin Shoes and "Aesthetic Functionality"
Christian Louboutin tried to distinguish its shoes from others by giving them a shiny red lacquered sole. The company takes the position that the red sole functions as a trademark — that it helps consumers know the source or origin of the shoes. In general, colors can be trademarks. See Qualitex v. Jacobson Products, 514 U.S. 159 (1995). Think of
Who really got to North America "first"?
When Columbus got here, there were already people here. That didn’t fare well for them. But, who was here first? The Clovis people were here before what we regard as “Native Americans.” And now, we find that the Manis were here before the Clovis. So it seems that if you really trace who was here “first,” what we think of
Missing Child Alert — oh, wait… she's black. Never mind.
You ever heard of Jahessye Shockley? Of course not. When little girls go missing, we only give a shit if they are white — preferably from middle to upper class families. That’s what her uppity grandma says. (source) Please join me in telling her that she should have thought of that before she decided to be black. You may now
The Pope Goes all Kucinich
Say what you want about the Catholic Church… but the supreme leader of the boyfucking cult of the magic space zombie jew is apparently taking on a position that would find a lot of favor in the Occupy Wall Street movement. (source). Go Benny with your bad self! Wear the super big pointy hat when you come out on the
Not THAT kind of Brotherly Love
The NAACP and the ACLU filed suit against the City of Philadelphia over a refusal to accept an advertisement for placement at Philly International Airport. (source) The billboard reads: The City claims it rejected the ad because of a policy against “issue” and “advocacy” billboards. However, the suit alleges that the City has allowed such ads in the past. “There
And now, the inevitable TSA mission creep
Candle of Liberty, Amy Alkon, brings us news that the TSA is now setting up on the highways. Remember that, the next time you silently and submissively put up with them at the airport — saying “oh, I can’t be bothered to give a shit.” See Did You Really Think The TSA Would Just Be An Airport Thang?
Dominatrix Lawyer Spanks Former Boss
Former New York state prosecutor Alisha Smith, who helped secure a $5 billion settlement from Bank of America, was unceremoniously suspended from her job because she spent her spare time as a dominatrix. She was suspended from her job because the New York Post questioned whether she was paid for her nocturnal activities. The prosecutor’s office has a policy that
Quantum Levitation
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ws6AAhTw7RA#!]
Qaddafi Dead
The “Arab Spring” has claimed the life of the Libyan despot. (source). We shall see if what replaces him is any better. Meanwhile, the House of Saud, worse than Qadaffi ever hoped to be, is still supported by your tax dollars.
Stripper lacks class (status, that is)
She take my money, well I’m in need Yeah she’s a triflin’ friend indeed Oh she’s a gold digger way over time That digs on me An exotic dancer by the stage name “Ms. Behaved” sought to be a class representative in a class action against Fantasy Topless in Colton, California. Beachemin v. Tom L. Theaters, Inc. No. SACV 11-0394-DOC
Wanted: Satyriconista
If we had the time to make an audiovisual ad for this position, it would look something like this: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjkY_Gb9_Qo&w=560&h=315] Since we don’t, you’ll need to settle for this written post. We are seeking a new contributor. The editor prefers that it be a law student, because to date, two law students who were Satyriconistas eventually became associates at
